Turning Back

Turn to despair, beyond my belief,
Waiting to move on, to get rid of the grief.
And the misery bottled up inside,
Kills me each day, like a poisoned knife.

Getting lost in nature, is an option no more,
Every falling leaf, every bird that flies.
Reminds me of what once was,
Now burdened by all the lies.

As I walk along the river bank,
The trees for company.
And the bunnies hopping around,
The grass that brush my knee.

The lark sings away,
unmindful of the fact
A stranger has entered his land,
in mind, a sinful act.

The ants carry on, from leaf to leaf,
building bridges from their selves,
in harmony with nature,
even fairies, witches and elves.

Human sacrifice is to be remembered,
an act that makes the cause selfish.
Wish I could learn from the insects here,
that suddenly seem even more dear.

Time moves on by,
No matter how hard you try,
making up my mind, to end it all,
a step away from eternity after this call.

Life can end in a flash,
One single moment when You're rash,
can I stop myself from this mistake,
afterall, I do feel like trash.
Unloved and unsure of what is,
In the dark about my tomorrow.
Happiness is just a leap away,
Freedom from all my sorrow.

The twigs strewn around,
The logs that cut the river.
The green canopy that surrounds me,
A wonder that makes me shiver.

The fishes, black, white and coloured,
stare at me, from under water.
They sense the tug of my hormones, I guess,
that in a moment will take me underwater.

I walk alongside the prickly bushes,
that dot the river bank.
Searching for a clearing somewhere,
Before I tank, choosing to say a prayer.

I close my eyes for a moment,
letting my life flash by.
An entire saga unfolding,
That's driven me to give up my life.

Before I take the final leap,
a deep breath , I decide to take.
Doubting if I really want my body,
to end up in this icy lake.

A moment of indecision is all it takes,
for everything right to go wrong or the other way round.
I open my eyes for a second,
to wake up and hear a flashing sound.

A streak of lightening shimmers off the lake,
the dark clouds shudder in their wake.
Rain drops bouncing off the leaves,
Shimmer away under moonlit beams.

Feels like i'm in heaven,
Now that I've left my worries behind.
Reminding me of the simple pleasures in life,
like the ones I now find.

Life is so much more simple,
I believe these are my last moments here.
Striving to enjoy every bit That's left,
making that very bit so dear...

Having learnt my lesson, will I turn and walk away?
Will I see tomorrow, now that i know my today...?